Chotto · Memai · Ga · Shimasu

As I was cleaning up, I looked outside the kitchen window, to the nearly foot of snow on the ground. What caught my eye was that the window was filthy and in need of a good clean. And as I looked I noticed some portions were a little cleaner then others and took the shape of pawprints. Varying in size, tiny prints pressed into the glass, some with downward sweeps.

On the window, I realized, was Zipper's lifetime. We never cleaned the window because he would just get back up and paw at the window in rapid movements to tell us he was ready to come inside. Tiny prints of him as a kitten to the medium size of his adulthood.

Looking at the snow, I can remember watching this chubby gray cat bounding through the snow, trying to catch a squirrel, but then I remember the window and how it needs to be washed. And how I can't bring myself to do it.

Today's feeling is...:

gloomy

Not to mention that when it does come around, snow's attempted assassinations upon my person! The nerve.. It started snowing on.. was it, Sunday.. No, must have been Monday as dad was at work. So I got sent home early from work since I drove. Took me 45 minutes for a normal 5 minute drive. I nearly got stuck twice. No, no! This was Wednesday.. because Thursday I had to call in, saying there was no way my poor little car was going to make it into work. >O That's 8 hours thus far this snow has cost me in money.

Friday was well, I worked my 6 and a half hour shift. Nearly got stuck and run off the road a few times on Friday. Today, oh today. Started snowing, news of a bad snow storm, got sent home again. Curse you snow.. Today you cost me 5 MORE hours.. 13 hours, now.. 13!!! That's 117 dollars that I could have made! *growls* Curse you, Snow! almost got stuck on my way home.

Humorous story, though. Was driving in front of the highschool, was past the round-a-bout and just heading up that slight hill and I notice a truck has gotten stuck in the middle of the lane. Aww.. Sad. I slow down to a stop and then decide I'm going to go around him... NOPE! I'm stuck too, now! hehehe.. So he gets out of his car and tells me I have to go around, which I reply that now I'm stuck too! and laughing all the while. I end up throwing myself in neutral and backing up into a turn, heading up and around the school instead. ^_^

And now, Yule Dinner is canceled and postponed to next week. Which is fine, and I'de hate for my friends and family and loved ones to dare go through this horrible weather.. :( But it makes me sad at the same time. Oh well.. Next week!

I apparently can't decide for myself whether people who used to be my friends chose to hang around are ok, or not. I have to listen to HIM. Because only his opinion matters, apparently. Fuck. That. Shit.

I'm sick with a cold, and angry at everything. Why are we having a fight..? Its a fucking game!

whoo..

Happy times, ey? Happy times.

Well, Mitch will be coming with on my trip to Gramma's for Thanksgiving. Funny story, on our family forum I posted I was going to show up the day before so I can help Gramma set up and be a good granddaughter. Then I mentioned I was bringing Mitch with me. Gramma said she didn't have the room but I pointed out that he could sleep on the couch with me on the love seat (which is where I normally sleep with Dozer + whichever cat is around.) And my Gramma, who I had grown up thinking was moderately progressive flipped.. She said she wasn't going to allow it in her house and I could sleep with my boyfriend in the same room... somewhere else. This is also a woman who's been divorced 4 times and wouldn't bat an eyelash if any of her 5 boys had done the same thing. Ahh... Gramma.

So I told her I'de just stay the night at Mitch's and we'de be there early the next morning. :) I think Gramma is amazed that 1) I have a mind of my own, and 2) It goes against what her ideals are.

Luke carved a pumpkin, I started my banshee pumpkin (still.... working... gahh) and then I headed over to Mitch's after depositing my check from work. We did some cuddling and laughing over some flash videos (Legendary Frog rocks my socks.) His mom made some pumpkin bread, which was delicious and very nostalgic for me since Gramma used to make it all the time. Mm.. pumpkin bread.

So I was txting Chase and Bronwen asking if they were up for sushi. B had to close to no sushi for her and Chase. Regardless Mitch wanted to go still and so we went to Sushi connections. Ken (the owner) came over and greeted us after we sat down and chatted a bit, after a few moments he remembered my dad was Ken and went there once a week.

Not long after we sat and were enjoying sushi, I overheard the waiters contemplating where to put this party of four that just came in. They were seated right next to us.. and I looked over, DAVE!!! I shot up out of my seat and ran over to hug him. I was so happy and then hugged Deb. Mitch was a little confused and I explained it was Deb and Dave. And they introduced us to their two herp. friends.

We had a great seredipity dinner, and Dave mentioned the Everett Library outreach which is where I'll be going. And Mitch even decided to go! Yay, Tex and Mitch. :) I am happy.

"Practice zooming in and out."

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) Favorite band to listen to when you're mad?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Actually, Sugar has an ear infection (not so good/happy news.. but its news to be remarked on.)

Let's begin. After we put Zipper down, I did my typical "let me just drop off the world now" routine. Mitch called thursday (Wednesday?) about going X-bowling on Friday or Saturday. I declined, saying I had work the next day and wasn't up to it. A sort of half-truth half-lie. Yes, I had work, but I could have gone since I worked at noon and x-bowling ends at 8. Sunday, I got an idea to go check out the Kube93 haunted house.. :) Oh yes. So I txted Mitch, Chase, and Bronwen via Chase if they wanted to go. After a renowned YES from all three, I started planning.

This brings us to Monday night. I was bored, not tired at 8pm and after 4 hours of work, texted Mitch if he was up for a movie. We met at the theatre and decided on GhostTown (Hillarious, by the way!) After the movie was funnier, however.

While chit chatting about multiple things, the topic came up as to how we felt about each other. We had dated once before, I was 15 and he was 16; however, we both accepted we had changed significantly since we first went out and most definately since we broke up. After 5 years, we had both mellowed. The first go around, I'll be straight honest, I was not interested. I -really- did not care. He was a friend with a little bit more intimate things. That in correlation to just some asshole behavior at the most wrong time by him ended out 6 month relationship. Around the end of his senior year, we started being friends again.

We're both heavily flirtatious people, so when we hang out, we flirt. We both have had a very close relationship with other people that left us both a little more aware and a little ragged. So it came the question of if we were going to be more then friends. After several (albiet humorous) awkward moments, entailing hugs that -could- have ended in a kiss and serious glances, always broken by a giggling "awkward..." comment, I had reached my decision. I didn't really say "yes" or "no" as I just kissed him. I figured that was a good answer.

The best part of that all.. the Verizon store just next to the Theatre was playing a song on its random rotation...

"Everone knows I'm in
Over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my.."

Yes... "Over my Head" by the Fray. We both cracked up laughing and couldn't stop for a good few minutes. Finally though, we resumed our somewhat euphoric smoochings when he made the comment "Hm.. Been a while since I've kissed a girl.."

"Yeah, me too." Was all I said.

I should come with a warning label.. "Caution: Will burn... especially when provoked"

Today's feeling is...:	cheerful
Playing on radio/computer/Sansa:	Beatles!

Last July I moved out of my parents house. It was going really well, no real skirmishes until about... November. Apparently the idea of community grocieries was "this week I buy groceries, next week they -together- buy groceries.. then its my turn again." -_- Couples are not single entities.. So I stopped buying groceries for them and got my own. This apparently pissed off the female roomate and war was waged. She started complaining about having no help with chores. Now, bear in mind I'm going to school, working close to full time, and spending time with friends. I am home.... MAYBE to sleep. How I viewed it, if the house was a mess, it was their fault and they should clean up their own shit.

I gave in, though. Those rare times I was actually home, I cleaned the entire apartment, which was quickly dishambled upon their arrival home from work later that day. At the end of the quarter, it proved that school + working to support myself was not working and school got the boot.. So now I had a lot more time, but not a pleasant home enviorment. Much of my time was spent at work or being at my parents house and giving the excuse that I was working for them around the house to pay back all the money they had fronted for me. Which was true, I was trying to do chores, more often then not my time was spent playing WoW.

Now, at the end of January I lost my job at COBS bakery... Apparently someone had been filching money and they blamed me, since I counted everything at the end of the night, despite the fact that I wasn't to know how much money was SUPPOSED to be in the till.. My job was plain and simple: Count the money.. Leave $150 in each till, any excess put in bag with receipts and manager will count in morning. Not too long after, I recieved a call from Caleb (the male roomate.)

He asked if I wanted off the lease, to which I responded "do you want me off the lease?" and he explained how he and the female of the pair were hoping for someone to carry half the rent instead of a third. I told him that he could go ahead and find someone and I'de be out of the apartment shortly.

The female roomate told me that I had to be out by the 7th of February at 6(when our rent was due.) or I'de have to pay half a month's rent. I was indeed out, thanks to Chase, and I moved back in with my parents. I proceeded to do my best to drop off the face of the world in February, as I do every year. I didn't really re-emerge until about mid-march when Chase, Bronwen, and I had started hanging out again.

Then I got a letter, the female roomate was demanding money from me. Apparently they had lost the apartment and blamed me for "not being off the lease." Now.. in regards to the lease, this is how it went for me. I went in to the office and told them I'de like off my lease but the other two were staying, the office attendant said it was no problem, I just needed to sign some papers. I signed some papers and they said if they needed anything, they would contact me. APPARENTLY I was never taken off the lease.. They had told my two roomates that all I had to do was go in and sign something and it was over, but the apartment never contacted me.

It was a little while later I learned why they lost it.. apparently they had gotten another person to replace me, then the female cheated on her significant other.. then they were without that third roomate again. I laughed at this.

In good news, I did manage to get a new job, I run the front end at Little Caesar's now, my boss' are amazing and cool (and they say I'm never off more then 10 cents on my register, take THAT COBS!)

June came around and I of course txted Gana, asking what she was doing for her birthday (I finally had her present finished and framed!) and she txted back they were going bowling and would call me back. She never did. I learned from B a week later they actually went to a movie. And it really was the last straw. I know she probably isn't going to read this. But here's the deal.

You BITCH about never seeing me or hanging out, but NEVER call. Why do I always have to call? And whenever I do you don't want to. You're depressed, you're self conscious. Y'know what? You're upset you're overweight and DON'T DO A FUCKING THING. The rule is if you don't DO anything to change, you don't get to bitch about it. "I can't do it 'cause I'm fat." "Yeah? Well what are you gonna do about it?" I've bent over backwards trying to be social with you, but you just don't seem to want to. Its not that I don't love you, I would drop EVERYTHING to spend time with you. Friendship is one of those two way streets, so now its time for you to make the journey 'cause I'm out of gas.

Now for the latest, very tragic news. Over the summer my cat, Zipper, was diagnosed with kidney failure. The vet gave us medication to make him more comfortable. However even through all of it, this last weekend we noticed he just wouldn't eat. He would beg from our plates but not eat what we gave him. He demanded out attention and our love. So I decided on Sunday, we would probably put him down the next day.. I called the vet, explained the situation, and gave her my thoughts. She agreed with me. Thus and so, we went in at 5pm and he was put to sleep. We should be getting his ashes sometime next week.

I've been tired from crying since Sunday, and I'm very irritable most of the time. I've nearly bitten off my friends' heads several times in just one hour. This is why I tend to just hole myself up when I get depressed. I get ANGRY-depressed.

So that's about the jist now. Luckily my mom knows how to cheer me up, we casually joke about some morbid things, like turning to Sunny and telling him he's won, he outlived the kitten. Last night we watched America's Funniest Home Videos and had a good laugh. It was a great change from the crying.

But still things irritate me, like this morning.. I was listening to music but Dad kept walking into the room, then he'd come stand by me. I can't listen to music in the house with people in the room, I like to pace and when I pace my mind wanders (mostly to one of my stories) and runs through scenes. Subconsciously I have this habit of acting a little out, and I find it embarassing.. So when my father kept pinging I got angry. I know why he was doing it. He knows how hard I'm taking Zipper's death and wants to be supportive. However I'm too much like him, I'm stubborn and want to do it on my own.

Oh yes. What day is today? That's right. MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Let the present giving begin!

The Red Queen! Captain of the Pirate ship RevenG!!! (That's my version of the flag. kick ass no?)

So Plato, this adorable grey and white cuddly kitten, has no true home right now.. And he needs one. So this is a call to see if anyone is willing to take him in. ((I know the Mitchell's can't and I wouldn't ask you all to anyway)) 

PLEASE let me know! He's really a sweet thing, he also loves fingers and toes and is highly playful. He wasn't afraid of the ferrets... while they were in the cage. He's really a fearless thing.

As some of you might know... There's a movie coming out on August 8th (or 10th..) Called "Stardust"

"Oh?" You might say, or perhaps "So?"

As some of you know I am OBSESSED with Niel Gaiman. I love all his writing. Stardust is one of the graphic novels he wrote. I *loved* it. I read it by chance.. Found it at Barns'N'Noble and after some deliberating got it along with "Last Temptations." 

So.. I am very excited. It looks great and the characters look like themselves. But everytime I squeal in excitement, everyone looks at me weird... while they're all off to see a live action movie made from a rather crappy cartoon (in my opinion). Yeah... I was never a fan of Transformers as a cartoon.. But everyone's freaking out at that, and even my other nerdy comic fans are flipping for it and thinking I'm weird for being excited for Stardust..

Does no one understand?! First "Stardust" next "SANDMAN!!!" Well.. technically next is the "Watchmen" in 2008.. but STILL! Doesn't that excite anyone?

They are. They really are. They only bother me. Only me. I'm the one that sees them, they skulk around *my* room. They only bother the parents when I'm not around.

Alright.. So I accidently stabbed myself in the thigh with a pencil. That one was all me.. But.. Theres a part of my shelf that still has some screws in it. But because there was no place to put it, I turned it around so the screws were facing the wall. I went to refill the ferret's water and food, stepped out the door to close the door and *slice* heel on screw. Pain.. such pain. >< But I have gauze, antibacterial gel and iodine. Slightly less painful. Still stings.. ow..

Today's feeling is...:

uncomfortable

Those Born 1930-1979!

TO ALL THE KIDS

WHO SURVIVED the
1930’s, 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70’s!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we
rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and

NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-Aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because .

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down
the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them .. . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as
kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives

“for our own good”

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

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